Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
porn star boner night. come get it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
