Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
