I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
