it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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