my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
