I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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