the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
