Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
