Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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