If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
