So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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