This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
