How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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