u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
