Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
