just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
