Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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