he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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