I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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