I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
