Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
