you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
