I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
