During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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