This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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