Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just had sex on a roof
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
