Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
