I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
