Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
