I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
