i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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