guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
