You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
