we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
