the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
