I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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