elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
