Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
