I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
