i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
