11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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