Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
