I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
