What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
