The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
