My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
