You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
