i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
