Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
