Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
